The mood meter inside the book jacket sucked me in immediately because of my (visceral, negative) reaction to the emotions in the "green" quadrant, which I (correctly) assumed would be presented as the emotional ideal for much of life.
Honestly, much of the green quadrant fills me with dread. Restful? Blessed? Peaceful? Serene? Are people who regularly feel this way even fully, you know, alive? My home turf, the spot I think of as my resting pulse, is somewhere between Restless and Energized, Annoyed and Pleased. If I'm not totally red, I'm at least a shade orange.... And whatever it may say about me - as a person or a parent - kindness, sense of purpose, and the wisdom to build healthy, lasting relationships are not the skills I'm most desirous of my son possessing as he grows up. Confidence, yes, but from there Brackett and I diverge. Oh, I'm not most focused on math skills, scientific knowledge, or athletic ability, but a sense of justice; resilience, grit, and determination; and a quick wit and silver tongue take precedence over Brackett's trifecta any day of the week.
That said, once I moved beyond our philosophical differences, I quite like Brackett's methodology. The idea of using an emotional RULER (Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating) is undoubtedly valuable, and although many of the emotions that I want G to be able to articulate do not appear on the mood meter, even using those that do is good practice. And what doesn't appear? The absence of the cerebral emotions feels like a loss to me, or a missed opportunity at a minimum. Where do skepticism or ambivalence fit? Feeling conflicted? Regretful? Exasperated? Aroused? Stifled? Amused? Objectified? Vindicated? The ever-popular feeling of schadenfreude? Indebted....which does also always render one grateful.
You get the idea. Although the Mood Meters captures some 100 "moods" too much overlaps for my taste (tired and fatigued or blissful and fulfilled), particularly given that the more nuanced emotions are missing. Are despairing and despondent not the same side of the same coin? This wouldn't bother me so much if Brackett didn't regularly make the point that the richer a child's emotional vocabulary, the more successful they will be in applying the precepts of RULER and, ultimately, in regulating their emotions. Or, as the neuroscientists say, and Brackett quotes, "If you can name it, you can tame it."
I appreciate Brackett's acknowledgment of the fallacy of happiness, and specifically that the pursuit of happiness can be self-defeating. With my son I discuss the obligation all of us has to make the world somewhat better - not to litter, not to lie, to vote against bad ideas and worse policies, to consume less and appreciate more, but I'm careful never to suggest any of this should be done with an eye toward the ever-ephemeral "happiness." And, though I can't exactly put my finger on why, the cynic in me may have laughed a bit at the idea of devoting time and thought to our positive moments so that we may discover ways to extend them.
I've read enough neuroscience books the past few years to discern who can write well enough to be enjoyed by the masses, versus who I'm going to need a medical dictionary to decipher, and happily Brackett falls into the former category. I particularly enjoyed his anecdote on cultural difference in Croatia as well as the many tales out of academia. Ah, students.
In terms of Emotions at Work: I enjoyed the contrast between this and Robert Greene and would be interested in what each of them would think of the other.
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